31. The one night stand from hell.
The following morning while the coffee was brewing in the kitchen, Mark playfully wrapped his arms around Jasmine and lifted her up, Jasmine wrapped her legs around Mark’s waist, and the two fell onto the bed.
Ikea part N° 100194 and 100716 broke under the sudden impact and combined weight of Mark and Jasmine.
“You’re paying for that!” Jasmine screamed as she pushed Mark off from her and angrily climbed out of the wreckage.
For Mark, this was supposed to be a one night stand. He wasn’t interested in turning this into a project that lasted past lunchtime. So while Jasmine searched ikea.com for new beds, Mark poured a cup of coffee and rummaged through the parts of the broken bed on the floor looking for the ‘quick fix’.
The frame was bent. The bed was irreparable. The bed would have to be replaced.
“There it is. That’s my bed.” Jasmine said as she passed her laptop to Mike.
“Is this a joke? That bed is 350 dollars! I’m not paying for that!”
“But it’s your fault my bed’s broke!” Jasmine replied.
“And what about craigslist? Did you check there?”
“My bed was new! I’m not sleeping on somebody else’s used bed! Disgusting!”
“Fine, but we’ll split the cost. I’m not paying full price for a bed we both broke. Order it online now and it’ll be here in a few days.”
“But where am I going to sleep until it arrives? At your place?”
Mark was fighting a losing battle, and he knew it. His only move was to get this situation fixed by the end of the day and get the hell out of there.
“Fine. Find the closest IKEA and we’ll get it today.”
Google maps located the nearest IKEA in Plaisir on Rue Henri Barbusse: over 50 kilometers (30 miles outside of Paris). Over an hour away by train.
It was a long train ride to IKEA. All of Mark’s plans for the day were ruined. 20 minutes after arriving at IKEA Mark and Jasmine located the bed, loaded it onto the dolley, and split the cost at the register. Jasmine was excited.
“Now we go back to my place and you can put it together. It will be so comfy tonight, don’t you think?” Jasmine said as the delivery man took it to load it into his truck.
“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Shit!”
It finally struck Mark that he would also have to assemble the bed. Assemble it tonight or Jasmine spens the night at his apartment. Mark weighed the options on the train ride back. His place was a mess, and by now he was sick of this girl.
Mark and Jasmine arrived at 4:00pm, 30 minutes before the delivery truck was scheduled to arrive. So Mark sent Jasmine to the store to buy the several bottles of red wine he would need to assemble the bed.
Mark began assemblying the bed at 5:00 pm…
…and finally at midnight, Mark tightened the final bolt on the bed and took a shower while Jasmine velcroed the mattress to the frame.
“Thank you so much for the bed!” Jasmine told Mark. By the time Mark had gotten out of the shower Jasmine was already in her pajamas sipping chamomile tea and setting her alarm clock for the morning. “Do you think you’ll catch the last metro?”
“What?! You can move the hell over! I made the damned bed, now I’m gonna lie in it!”
